There’s a train coming down a long, dark tunnel. It barrels through and then comes to a screeching halt at the brightly lit station. The doors open. I stand off to the side as the people disembark, and then I hurry on, barely glancing at the remaining passengers. An empty seat beckons and I quickly sit down. The train jolts into motion. I hear a familiar whiny “hahahahahahaha” and realize I’m surrounded by fruits, all speaking in tongues with tongues. I cannot make out their words, despite the insistent tones of their annoying little fruit voices, and I strain to understand their message. A few olive-complexioned plantains in football helmets make their way through the subway car while about a pound of spaghetti, looking vaguely like Lady Gaga, wraps herself provocatively around a pole. She adds her sultry voice to the cacophony of crazy.
That’s when I see him. The Annoying Orange ducks around the throngs of speaking edibles, all the while his laugh overpowering the incessant chatter in the train car. He slips closer until, without warning, he screams, “The Annoying Orange will be the very first fruity costume released for Halloween 2012!”